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S0-003 The Mystery of LaBouche Gardens
'The Mystery of LaBouche Gardens '''is the third episode of season 0 of Queens of Adventure. It is the second live show, recorded around Halloween at Kremwork in Seattle, and sees the newly formed adventuring group perform a gig at an old amusement park. Synopsis Our four queens complete their number in the central gazebo at LaBouche Gardens. The park has fallen on hard times, with buildings crumbling in disrepair. Amber Shafthold, the park’s elderly caretaker, approaches the queens to settle payment, apologizing for the small crowd. That audience consists of one person: Maggie, a halfling girl. She thanks the queens and exposits that the park could be saved if only someone would find the treasure the park’s founder, Lady LaBouche, left behind when she died. This catches the party’s interest. She provides a map of the park. Amber warns them to be careful as it is close to dark when the monsters and ghosts come out. Maggie leaves for the day and the queens begin their hunt. Looking over the map, the queens note the following attractions: Carousel, Midway, Hall of Mirrors, Wax Museum, and Restrooms. Hidden in draglish symbols is the phrase: “Treasure Seekers. Vogue in my Marked Mirrors and meet my Magic Mouth”, with Magic Mouth symbols appearing by those five locations. Despite Fraya’s need for a bathroom, they think the Marked Mirrors reference is a clue to go to the Hall of Mirrors first. As they walk, a disembodied voice wails vague warnings. Attractions They arrive at the ornate building housing the Hall of Mirrors. Inside is a ring of dingy mirrors. Fraya does a vogue performance, and she finds herself transported to a dark formless place on the other side of the glass. A voice tells her someone must speak the passphrase if she wishes to find the treasure. Fraya uses charades to get the other queens to guess the phrase written on a punch card she finds in her pocket. Fraya is freed and the mirrors go dark despite attempts to activate them again. Arson now also needs a restroom as well, so the party heads there. Taking a shortcut, they pass abandoned food stands. As the sun sets, the spectral form of the park mascot, Trixie LaBouche the Gaggin Dragon, appears and warns them to leave. A cotton candy machine rumbles to life, spitting out strands of candy that amass into a blob which attacks them. Butylene throws a bomb at it, and the creature erupts into a pink fireball, enraging it. The blob generates a manicured hand which slaps Butylene for no damage, but does stick to her cheek. Harlotte goes in for a sneak attack to defend her partner, but her dagger gets stuck, so she uses her ''mage hand as her second attack. Fraya dumps ten gallons of water on the monster (and Butylene), destroying it. They arrive at the graffiti covered bathrooms, which smell like they’ve seen better years. There are two stalls, and a mirror opposite. A sign says “Welcome to the Tea Room”. Fraya checks her lipstick, then writes “for a good time call Harlotte”. Arson goes to cut a hole in the divider between the stalls, but finds there is already a hole there and messages in the language of latrinalia, which she speaks, mostly gossip about people named Robert, Roger, and Richard. Harlotte vogues, triggering spectral lips to appear with a riddle “I go in dry, I come out wet. The longer I stay in, the stronger I get.” Harlotte suggests teabags and the glory hole by Arson now looks into a pocket dimension of a tea house. A punch card lies on a table inside, animated gloves (belonging to an unseen person) ask if they’ve come for tea. Before they can respond, Harlotte uses mage hand ''to snatch the punch card and they leave. Crossing the park again, they find an Information kiosk with a Ring for Service bell. Fraya rings the bell and a gnome in a singed caftan appears, the same gnome from Wunderbred Manor. He offers to provide info on the treasure if the queens read each other. No sooner asked than the queens deliver impressive reads. Delighted, the gnome explains how Lady LaBouche was a known philanthropist using her fortune to support the people of the valley. She died without an heir, and drag scholars believe she’s buried in the park, and only someone who proves themselves worthy to the lady will find the treasure. Legend also says she loved her drag numbers so suggested watching for musical instruments. The gnome says he needs his beauty sleep, as do they, and climbs into the cabinet in the back of the booth with a book of erotic orc drawings. Now, the queens notice a statue of Trixie Labouche, a dragonborn queen in friendly mascot pose, seventeen feet tall with pieces having fallen off, next to an old calliope. They inspect the calliope and realize there are five slots, and they only have two punch cards. Harlotte wonders if the statue is looking anywhere, maybe a hint to the treasure location, and sees the statue looks right down at them. They insert the two punch cards they have, and the calliope plays a few notes before stopping. A glow arises around them as a spectral Trixie LaBouche appears before the lights go out. When they turn back on, the grim visage of Michelle Visage hangs in the air before them. Arson and Harlotte take psychic damage from it as it fades, revealing the Carousel close by. It’s a rather shabby looking carousel with several plaster animals on poles including a horse, pup, lion, pig, goat, otter, elephant, and a bear. The queens race to mount various animals and notice mirrors around the center column. Arson vogues poorly. The lips begin to recite rhymes, indicating which animals to mount. As they sit on each animal (Butylene asks for consent), the carousel comes to life. Confetti rains down, and a punchcard appears in a compartment on the bear. Ghostly voices (from the audience) encourage them to go to the Wax Museum. The house is dilapidated and boarded up. Inside are singed dioramas with melted waxy figures. Only one is relatively unscathed: a nude figure with a mirror and a fading portrait nearby. Butylene vogues for the mirror as a drink order appear. The lips tell them to dress the wax model (Dice Boy Dio). The ghostly voices provide clues to what to put on the figure. Once dressed, a punchcard slides out of the wax figure’s buttocks. Astral Trixie warns the queens as they head towards the Midway, and a trap door opens below them. The ghostly spirits detract from Fraya and support Arson, though both fall in the pit. They recover and reach the various games at the midway. A punch card hangs in the prize booth. After Fraya vogues, the lips tell them to earn tickets and various games light up. Harlotte and Butylene head to Love Tester as Butylene asks about Harlotte’s recent visit with Ramshackle. Despite this, Butylene maxes out the love tester, gaining ten tickets. Arson challenges the hot dog eating contest, earning ten tickets. Not having much time (in the live-show) they purchase the punch card and buy a plastic spider ring, which they give to Arson. Heading towards the center of the park, a Trixie LaBouche who is clearly a person in a mascot costume jumps out of the bushes to scare the queens. Harlotte ''mage hands the mask off, revealing the caretaker. Amber explains that months ago, Raiders of the Dry Fist, came one night and smashed up the park looking for the treasure. So, the caretaker used magic to create the ghosts. The scavengers told locals, and people stopped coming. She had to keep up the ghosts to keep the raiders away, but also needed time to find the treasure herself to repair and save the park, for fans like Maggie. Butylene puts her arm around Amber and casts friendship. The caretaker agrees to help the party with “the Guardian” and they head to the calliope. With all punch cards fed in, an instrumental version of La Bouche’s “Be My Lover” plays, and the Trixie LaBouche statue springs to life and attacks. The statue hits Harlotte, nearly knocking her out without spirit intervention. Arson uses an eldritch blast, ''knocking off some panels. With a natural 20, Butylene hurls a bomb that burns away the false skin of the robot. Opening her locket, Fraya channels Cher to cast ''thunderwave, blowing gears from the machinery. The robot limps, barely moving. Harlotte takes revenge with a natural 20 sneak attack with her dagger, then her stiletto. She then taunts the robot for extra damage, and the light fades and the robot falls still. On the marble pedestal the statue had stood on, lips appear: “You have passed my test of wits. You have passed my test of woe. Now only one test remains: You’d better work.” The music changes and the queens perform a lipsynch, amidst a shower of confetti. Amber watches in awe, and leans against the platform, where a panel opens with a ladder. They take the ladder down to a chamber bathed in warm light, stacked with treasure chests. A desk lies against the back wall. Arson opens a chest, finding mint in the box Trixie LaBouche memorabilia. A voice speaks, “They’re worth a fortune you know.” At the desk, the shimmering form of a dragonborn queen appears. In her palm materializes a scroll, the title to the park and access to the trust fund for the park restoration at the Bank of Waterdeep. The queens debate what to do with all the different loot, with Harlotte wanting to keep it all for themselves. Arson manages to get the scroll before Harlotte can. Maggie appears, having heard the commotion. Arson decides to give the deed and funds to the young fan. The halfling, overwhelmed, gives the memorabilia to the party, suggesting they sell it at the Nexus of She'Bae. The spectral Lady LaBouche says: “So shines a good deed in a weary world. In ages past, we the queens of the great houses tried to be that light for others,” and pulls from the desk a bejewled book Works of the Sisters, and suggests they chronicle their songs and deeds, so that perhaps another great house may arise. Arson takes the book. As Harlotte reaches for it, the dragonborn queen says “not you” and fades. They emerge as day breaks over the park. Amber and Maggie run off to make plans. The queens exit, and find their capybara drawn carriage, Copper Top, and the gnome. He suggests they might come to an arrangement in finding another lost treasure of the great queens. The party is intrigued and begin to negotiate booking fees, and drink tickets. As they climb into the carriage, Copper Top asks how the show went. Fraya asks: “Can I roll for movie-montage?” Characters Party * Arson Nicki – drow warlock * Butylene O’Kipple – tiefling alchemist * Fraya Love – water genasi cleric * Harlotte O’Scara – human rogue NPCs * Amber Shafthold (debut) * Maggie (debut) * Invisible Tea House Owner (debut) * Gnomi Malone * Lady LaBouche (spirit) (debut) * Copper Top Monsters/Enemies * Cotton Candy Monster * Trixie LaBouche robot Live-Show Roles * DM Matt * Dice Boy Dio * Ghostly spirits – the Audience Show Notes Lore * Lady LaBouche was one of the legendary queens of the Age of Queens, known for her philanthropy. Inspiration Earned * Harlotte – using mage hand to slap the cotton candy monster attacking Butylene * Fraya – for using a Hallie Barry paraphrase to summon water. * Fraya – for writing graffiti on the bathroom wall * Harlotte – for her voguing in the bathroom * Harlotte – for mage handing the tea house punchcard through the glory hole * All Queens – for their impressive reads * Arson – “A good try” for voguing. E for effort written on the coin. * Butylene – for encouraging otter handling * Harlotte – for her enthusiastic mounting of the carousel pig * Butylene – for asking for consent before mounting the carousel pup * Arson – Inspiration for her riding the bear * Butylene – for her vogue as a drink order arrives * Fraya – Voguing at the midway * Harlotte – Vanity Affairs shade Memorable Quotes * “Treasure? Girl, tell us where this treasure be!” – Arson Nicki * “Can we do a halitosis check for the mouth? This is our first date.” – Butylene O'Kipple * “Coming? Come? Cumin?!” – Harlotte O'Scara * “If I had a dime for every time I did 1d4 piercing damage.” – Harlotte O'Scara * “Do you know what happens to cotton candy when it gets doused in water? The same thing that happens to everything else.” – Fraya Love * “Can I roll for a vodka sugar free redbull?” – Fraya Love * “Harlotte O’Scara: Honey I would read you if I could. But I was born after the first testament and I do not read Sanskrit.” – Fraya Love * “Fraya Love: I would read you, but I don’t really do coloring books.” – Harlotte O’Scara * “Miss Fraya: You didn’t have to bring pearls as your drag jewelry. All you had to do was not take a shower this morning.” – Arson Nicki * “Arson Nicki: I’m glad you’re wearing shoes tonight, cause those eagle talons you’re hiding under there- Girl you could snatch salmon from the Salmon Bay” – Butylene O’Kipple * “We’re splitting chest hairs at this point.” – Butylene O’Kipple * “I’m gonna put the Cow in the Kackeda kackeda Boom-Kow!” – Butylene O’Kipple * “I meant to write Fraya but I just wrote Beaver instead” – DM Matt * “I’ve been with a man named Chance before, so I’m ready. Let’s do this.” – Fraya Love * “Those dice have been around more than you!” – DM Matt Please Welcome to the Stage * Beaver Love! References * Joanne by Lady Gaga * Digimon * Starbucks point cards expiring at end of year * Staypuft Marshmallow Man * Hallie Berry as Storm’s line from the first X-Men movie, “Do you know what happens to a toad when it’s struck by lightning” * Tim Gunn save from Project Runway * "The Old BP” and Cal Anderson park – locations in Seattle not known for their cleanliness * Aperture Science from Portal * “Oh Honey!" - Trixie Mattel's catchphrase * Dumbo’s Circus * The Goonies Bone Pipe Organ * She-Ra * Legend of Zelda games – Ocarina of time and Breath of the Wild * Michelle Visage – Drag Race judge * Paris Hilton’s death in House of Wax * Secret Squirrel and Morocco Mole * $10,000 Pyramid and Jeopardy * Hogwarts houses (Arson Gryfindor, Harlotte Slytherin, Fraya and Butylene Hufflepuff) * Skeletor, and various Skeletor memes * “Puts the lotion in the basket” from Silence of the Lambs * Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, and Town and Country Magazines. * Kennedy Davenport’s Little Richard impersonation from Drag Race * Sarlack from Star Wars * Willhelm Scream * World of Warcraft – mounts being available at higher levels. * Press Your Luck game show – “All money, no whammies!” Name That Tune * “I Put a Spell on You” – from Hocus Pocus (Intro Lip Synch) * “Be My Lover” – La Bouche * “Come to My Window” – Melissa Ethridge * Entrance of the Gladiators/Thunder and Blazes - Julius Fučík (aka the generic circus calliope song) * “Ring My Bell” – Anita Ward * “Where Do You Go?” – No Mercy * “Sex and Candy” – Marcy Playground * “Vogue” – Madonna * “Somebody That You Used to Know” – Gotye * “Toxic” – Brittney Spears, as sung by Cher * “Heads Will Roll” – Yeah Yeah Yeahs (Finale Lip Synch) Behind the Queens * This live show introduced paddles, with plus and minus symbols on them. Distributed through the audience, they could be used to add or subtract from any dice roll, but could only be used by the audience member once. * This is also the first show with an Intermission. * Harlotte rolls the first Natural 1 of the show on a Wisdom Save facing spectral Michelle Visage. * Butylene references Ramshackle. At the time of the live show, no podcasts episodes had been released so fans attending the show or watching videos on line would have no knowledge of this character. DM Matt calls this a deep dive to Dungeons and Drag Queens expanded universe. Category:Episodes Category:Season 0 Category:Live Shows Category:Season Zero